I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
