STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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