i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
