i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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