OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
