every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
My vagina is very pro this idea
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
