I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
