Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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