Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
