i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
