so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
BRING THE BAGELS
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
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