omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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