You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
