I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
