this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
