WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize
