I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
whose parrot is this?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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