You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
