The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
