look no pants
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize