WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
My life is pants optional.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
