Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
dude i'm inner monologue high
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
