I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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