Nicole vs. Life
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Someone shattered a urinal.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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