Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
