Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
farters have to be the big spoon...
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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