this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
