This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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