There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
