I don't remember. Are we still dating?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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