Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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