Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize