Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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