so explain again why im purple
no
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
