he shaved USA in his pubs
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize