So drunk, too bad you don't want this
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
