Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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