I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
