Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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