Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
