It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
