Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You can't motorboat a personality
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
