I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
BRING THE BAGELS
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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