I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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