I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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