from now on my penis is your penis
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
