Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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