Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
