So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
