They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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