She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
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