She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
