I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
