Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
