we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
