he wants to bone in the snuggie
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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