id be glad to
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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