your room smells of hookers.
And success
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
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