how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
