I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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