yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
