ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
