She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
