i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
