it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
