Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(206): View more from Washington

i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man

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(319): View more from Iowa

went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.

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(574): View more from Indiana

We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"

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(845): View more from New York

our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.

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(818): View more from California

Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.

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(716): View more from New York

I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch

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(219): View more from Indiana

the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.

(219): View more from Indiana

easily made my night.

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