You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Yo dont text me then not text me
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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