I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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