WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
