and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
