I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Randomize