My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Randomize
