I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
