shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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