I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize