You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
