do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
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