forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I'm passing your future prison.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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