I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You can't just leave with hair like that
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
